Tuesday, November 20, 2007

pressure fluctuations worth listening to

If you haven't heard yet, Mp3 blogs are the surest way to hear the best in up and coming music that will one day become so big that you will be given license to turn a 180 and curse the band for cheating on you with multiple other fans. Millions maybe.

Yes, kids just like us (living pay check to pay check, and spending more money on cover charges and PBR's than food), except they live somewhere where shit actually happens. Shit that matters. Shit that one day could show up staring you in the face on the cover of PEOPLE magazine, while you count change for that six pack of PBR in the grocery store checkout line. These kids lace up their social representatives to fight their way through the sea of pretentiousness and deprecating image. They wage through all of this to get their hands on the latest demo tapes and 7", and share them with the rest of the world. Or, some just make you feel dumb for not being in the "know".

My thesaurus fell apart, I'm done.

So, by now there are a lot more blogs than two years ago, and even some of the old ones seem to be dropping in quality. This lack of Quality Control seems to be fueled more my numbers game, than a rise in blogs. Everyone has to get out the next big song, has to get the most page hits, has to be the first to mention Kanye sampled a Daft Punk song (and how great that song was 8 years ago, and how you were still listening to N'Sync 8 years ago).

Said the Gramophone, sorry, but I haven't visited you in months. We've just grown apart. It's not you, it's me.

No, I'm not going to just date Scissor Kick! We're just hanging out, and besides it wouldn't be none of your business, nohow. Fine, fine! You want the truth? I've been seeing Scissor Kick behind your back this whole time!

Why? Well Scissor Kick knows how to find real music worth my time, and only posts every week or two. You, you post every day! It's mostly boring dribble, and if you haven't noticed, I don't even pay attention to it anymore. That's right, it's bullshit!

When you get done packing my stuff, you can drop it off at Scissor Kick's house.

I know shit about music, and will only say "music is my life" when it alone is paying all my bills.

The Science of Sleep... and passive aggressive douche bags

I'm late.

Yes I was sleeping in, and decided to watch cartoons the day Science of Sleep made it's mark on the Indie film puddle. Full of clever music and people speaking French, they're just missing their bandannas (berets are not cool... for now). I'm not going to travel further down that route.

I must admit the director's interpretation of the dream world, and it's sometimes minor, sometime quixotic take on life's daily events was fantastic. The stop-motion FX using real materials, rather than CGI, gave the sequences even more authentic weight on the mind. The acting was great, all around. The leads were very convincingly awkward. That Gael Garcia fella plays one fine art geek, Stephane.

But Stephane himself, I cannot stand!

He shot himself in the foot so many times, right up till the end, that he shouldn't have been able to walk up those damn apartment stairs. First acting all cute and shy, then saying something stupid (like penis), then crying in the corner, then blaming the girl for not loving him for being a douche bag, and then that he wouldn't be a douche bag if only she loved him.

Then being so present in the current argument, that he falls asleep!

The movie was pretty much full of fuck ups, who I both loathe and scorn. The ManPig who really does believe "pussy is pussy", which he's obdurately been telling himself after being burned by too many real women in his 20's. The "hotter" of the two female friends, whose personality is so artificial the FDA will soon be demanding her type be removed from your daily diet. She is so unsure of herself, that she will lie about her job, and spray foot powder on your broken hand instead of just saying, "dude, I'm so sorry, we're outta broken hand cream!". Then there's the Mother who lies to her son about a shitty production artist job in order to bring her baby back home. Then again, mom knows best, and this kid still isn't ready to make it in the big world.

The only sane rational person in the film is the girl herself. About the only thing she did wrong was not bring the hammer down when she caught the dude breaking into her house. "But he was bringing her horsie to life. It's cute!" Bullshit. It wasn't really cute earlier when the dude was sniffing through your panty drawer, and pissing in your apple juice.

Creep FLAG. It only takes one.

One could say that the acting was so good, that the characters were played so well, that they hit the nail on the head.

That just takes the fun outta this rant. And either way, I won't sit through it again.

I'm gonna make a paper boat outta my ass.