Monday, April 30, 2007

FINALLY a way to use and share camera phone pics

So I have a camera phone, you have a camera phone, we almost all have camera phones. I've never felt that I've fully gotten my moneys worth on this fancy phone gadget. I have a nice point & shoot, I have a nice SLR, why would I need a camera phone?

Other than taking a picture of a friend to add to their phone number so I can see their obnoxious face while they call me, I've used the lens for little else. Even when I see something cool, and I don't have my real camera on me, I still forget I have one on my camera. I've done the research, and it's a nice little 1.3 mega pixel that shoots surprisingly well. Why don't I use it?

Well the pics are stuck on my phone, that's why! I have no fancy cord to upload them to my computer, and if I did, it would seem a hassle to me anyways.

So here comes

Go to their page, sign up for free, and they give you a unique email address that you add to your phone. Take pictures with your phone, send them to the provided address, and BAM! They post within seconds.

Now harass your friends and invite them to join another online site whose password they will forget as well. All of your friends from can see and share pictures with you. Only your friends can see them, so the rest of the world will have no idea you just had you Steamboat Willy tattooed to the helm of your...

Well you know, check it out, sign up, add me as a friend, and start sharing the luv via 1's & 0's

The Chaos of Contraceptives

A community college was closed after officials found a mysterious package in the building.

Pandemonium ensued as classes were closed, students fled, cats chased dogs, the tap water turned red, and the Dairy Queen ran out of M&M's!

The bomb squad came in and gingerly opened the box, trying to remember if it was the red wire, or the blue wire that should be cut. What if they used green wire?!?

The box opened, and they slowly looked inside. There were no wires, no biochemicals, no swarm of locust. Just 500 condoms.

500 condoms. All that commotion for 500 condoms.

Maybe some people really should just stick to abstinence.


Cruising up Highway 14 on my way back from Chicago, I began to feel my flesh boil. My left arm, slung carelessly out the window for the past two hours, was now sending a signal to my brain. NO MORE!

I found myself in a tough spot. No sunscreen. A tank-top. An hour left to drive.

I tried every twisted, contorted position, short of driving with my ass. Nothing worked. I reached my right arm across my chest to try and even the burn, no luck. I must have looked severely crippled. I had to settle for wearing just the one sleeve of my hoodie. I feel like a lobster who was only dipped halfway in the pot.

Now I sit here at work. One shoulder red. One shoulder white.

I'm still pink in the middle.

Friday, April 27, 2007

Woman uses Cancer for Cash!

Police report a woman who raked in $20,000 dollars by claiming she had liver cancer. She is now facing charges of fraud. Faking cancer makes Baby Jesus cry... and spit up a little.

When I had the C-bomb, I think I brought in about $5,000 through donations and feel sorry for me dinners. I was 15, so I could only dream of spending it on comic books and tittly-winks. Thank you mother for making me start a line of credit instead. Now I can borrow the money for $5,000 worth of comics :-)

Seriously though, we should just give this woman a Strontium-90 bagel and leave her to learn her lesson.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Ted Leo & the Pharmacists

The night I've been waiting for ever since I stumbled upon "Shake the Sheets" finally came last night. Ted Leo & the Pharamcists came back to Madison. Now I never saw them at the Rathskeller, or anywhere live for that matter. My anticipation rivaled only that of a Japanese school girl waiting for Justin Timberlake.

Love of Diagrams, who were supposed to open, pulled out at the last minute due to a band member suffering from a migrane. Ted and the gand just decided to play an extended set.

I ran into a few familiar faces, and met a couple new ones. I met a Quaker. I must say, she was the dancinest' Quaker I've ever seen. I inquired briefly about the Quarkers and her association with them. She joined them recently on her own accord, and explained that they have little hierarchical structure with no "pastor" leading them. Instead they all sit in a circle and discuss with eachother.

My old point & shoot was giving me poor results, due in part from my floor posistion and the bland stage lighting. The Quaker (I never asked permission to share her name) and I writhed as two trees on fire in a forest that refused to burn. They seemed more enthusiastic at the end of each song, rather than losing themselves to the melodies.

They played a great helping from all of their albums, including old classics such as Biomusicology (see video below) and Timorous Me. I was surprised at some of the tracks that were missing from the set list. Most notably; Hearts of Oak (one of my favorites); Tell Balgeary, Balgury Is Dead. And from his newest album; Who do you love?; and C.I.A.

I'm not one with a professional ear, but I think they could have used a better room for sound.

I also couldn't resist being the ass in the crowd to request Kelly Clarkson. I really do love his acoustic cover of "since you've been gone". He pointed me out in the crowd and retorted with a big "NO".

I then filled my little girl fantasy and requestered their John Hancocks on one of Billy's amazing posters. Ted thanked me for being the jack ass in the crowd, otherwise it would be only him.

He's the kind of guy I wanna grow up to be :-)


There is a Woot-Off today.

Head over and refresh regularly. Right now there is a Left handed putter up for sale :-/ a real "Woot-killer".

God bless crap that is so cheap you wouldn't normally buy it.

Losing the BUZZ

We're losing the buzz in this country, and even though it has been in the back of the papers, I don't think most Americans know/care about it.

Bees. The bees have gone AWOL.

Reports all across the nation show that our bee colonies are disappearing. The bees fly out to the fields, and just never come back.

Maybe the workers finally realized that the Queen is really their "slave" and the revolution has been televised. No more working for the Man, I mean Woman, and now it's time for them to go out and live their own lives. I can see them now, hopping trains, hitching rides on the interstate with their little bee back-packs, seeing all this country has to offer.

The sober reality is they all just starve to death without the colony. When the bees die, the crops don't get pollinated and our food supply decreases. According to this NY-Times article, the damn Agriculture Department has no real grasp on the problem due to horrible record keeping of bee colonies.

More articles:
Here, and Here.

Start filling the bomb shelter with honey. It will be the new liquid gold.

(art by Frank Stockton)

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Health Care hardships

I went to the immediate care center today because my doctor has been playing telephone tag with me and her schedule doesn't work towards my convenience. It should.

At the registration desk I was informed my co-pay was $50.


It used to be $30 last year, and now it's $50. WTF as the kids would say. I declared they would rue the day they raised my premium. Mark my words. I stormed out.

I then went to Target and spent $100 on new clothes.

God Bless America

Buy stuff/crap you don't need for cheap!

Woot: One Day, One Deal

Woot is one of those site that you only have to look at once a day. Everyday they have something for sale, for cheap. It can be anything from a laptop to a bluetooth headset to a Roomba vacuum.

Then about once a month they have a "Woot-off", in which they sell an item till it sells out, then they post a new item, and so on.

The best part is their creative writing staff who write a clever little story/description for each item.

Another useful time waster

(all caps please)

Is a great site run by three guys out of Chicago. They write short little entries about whatever they feel like; fashion, tech, food, interviews, art, Triscuits.

I've met Chuck Anderson, one of the creators, and this kid (21) is a digital art prodigy. He's been freelancing since he was 18 with no college education whatsoever. He makes me green with envy :-)

No, really he is a very down to earth guy with a lot of determination.

Check it

Miss America fights crime... by pretending to be a 14 year old hussy

Miss America, Lauren Nelson, joined forces with "America's Most Wanted" to help trap online predators.

Meanwhile Tara Conner, Miss USA, is in rehab for being... a stupid hussy. I gave this girl the benefit of the doubt when Trump defended her mischievous antics. Then I saw the pictures.

No doubt about it, she's a hussy!

"America" should teach "USA" a lesson on how to wield the powers of slut-itude for the use of good... and help lock up more of our dirty old men.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Toyota tops GM in sales!

So it was announced today that Toyota has finally topped GM in first quarter sales.

It's about time.

I commend Toyota for taking their time, making dependable products, and remaining efficient. They are opening new plants in the US, while GM is closing theirs. I'm a proud Tacoma owner, which was assembled in California thank you very much.

Now excuse me while I sniff my own farts.

Testing, testing, is this thing on?

So, in order to waste more of your time online, I've decided to start a blog.

For what purpose, reason, or goal? That I do not know yet.

I plan to write about nothing... or maybe everything. I only know my goal is to keep it short and sweet. I tend to tell a long winded story, so I'll try and refrain from that here. I just want to share my 2 cents on news/movies/books/squirrels/drinking/taxes/pop-culture/gadgets/milk/weather/pirates.

Take it for what you will, but after 50 post you should have about a dollar of useless knowlege :-)